Denial
by softballlover1
Summary: Rayne Behrs is a quiet girl living on the La Push Reservation, who encounters Paul, an angry werewolf who cannot accept what is to be...Imprint/OC; Read and Review
1. Chapter 1

I don't own anything related to Twilight; not the characters or plotline.

Chapter 1:

I looked up at the clock. Just fifteen more minutes to go. Just fifteen more minutes and then I can leave and be free and be happy. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...why do clocks hate me and why won't this guy stop talking to me? I'm obviously the most quiet and awkward person in my whole grade, yet he will not stop. Just go with it, I tell myself. So I just smile and nod and laugh, but this guy talks way too fast for me to understand even half of what he is saying. Thirteen minutes to go...are you kidding me? I clench my fists and hold back a scream of frustration. The monotony of this classroom eats away at me, day after day. I look around the room and most people have someone to talk to willingly. My classmates discuss what they plan to do for the weekend, how much their job sucks, and how much they hate certain people. Sigh, oh how I love high school. I look up at the clock, eight minutes to go.

"...This game is...Have you...crazy...I just couldn't believe it..." rambles my seat neighbor Ryan.

Doesn't he realize that I don't care about whatever he's talking about? So I try to send out a signal that says, 'I don't care', by looking at my computer and not giving anymore fake responses. Within fifteen seconds he notices my disinterest and just stops. Awkward. Five minutes to go... I stand by the door and wait for the ring that signals the end of another useless week. Hmmm I wonder what we'll have for dinner, I think, we could have Subway, ha yeah right, maybe chicken and rice...Finally, I hear the lovely ringing of the bell. I smile and walk out of the classroom, to meet up with my friends Casey and Anna. Casey is the pretty one of the group. She's tall, athletic, and has always had guys following her and flirting with her. She's very outgoing and is aware of all the attention she recieves from guys. To be honest, I don't know how we're friends, considering we're polar opposites, but I guess we balance each other out. Anna is more my friend than she is Casey's, because of her overall weirdness, but that's what makes her unique from everyone else on this reservation. She's almost as extroverted as Casey. Then there's me. I'd describe my looks as being ok. I can't help but to be quiet around almost anybody, it can be frustrating because I want to be more outgoing with people, but I can never bring myself to be more out there.

I walk to where I know my friends will be at the corner of the hallway where all our lockers are. I hold my head up and try to look bored instead of self-conscious. School breeds insecurity, I realize, as I walk through the hall. There's just something so uncomfortable about having to dodge people who are either really excited about something or really pissed off about something, to feel the need to barge through people. Finally, I reach my two friends who look up just as I get within hearing distance of them.

"Hey, Rayne," Casey greets me.

"Hey," Anna shouts at me. Cue the looks. Casey just mumbles something under her breath.

"Yeah, hey," I greet to them both. "Can you maybe not shout next time?" I ask Anna. Then raise my eyebrow and give her a look. She's special.

"I love embarrassing my very, truly, mostly, kind of, sometimes, always, lovely, beautiful best friend," she replies back before jumping in front of me and giving me a huge hug. I look around and notice some people laughing at us or just staring. I blush and look at Casey.

"You're a freak," Casey says to Anna, in a mocking tone, then turns around to leave. "Bye, Rayne," she says, almost like an afterthought, before walking away. She's definitey changed since last year. It's almost as though her ego has been greatened since older guys have been paying special attention to her. She needs to lay off the attitude.

"What a bitch," Anna exclaims to me. I just shrug not wanting to get in the middle of it.

"Sooo, what are you doing this weekend?" I ask, to change the subject.

"Eh, nothing, you?" I give her a look.

"What do you think?" I ask sarcastically.

"Sheesh, nevermind then," she mumbles as we get our stuff from our lockers. Once we double-check that we have everything we walk away towards the front exit. Just as I'm opening the door some person barrels through the door and knocks me to the ground, without even ackowledging my presence, and stomps away, angrily. I look up to see who that could've been. Shit, Paul LaHote. I blush instantly. Paul LaHote, member of the 'La Push Gang', the person I've had a crush on and have hid successfully from my friends, for years. I don't care if he's a jerk, a man-whore, or what. There's always been something special about him to me that keeps me wishing that he might take notice of me. If only...

"Are you okay? LaHote hit you pretty hard. He's such an asshole," Anna interrupts my daydreaming.

"Oh, yeah, he is," I lie to her, but in actuality he can do no wrong in my eyes.

"Come on, let's go," she helps me up and we head to the student parking lot where her car is, a cute VW Bug. As we get in and Anna puts on her new Taylor Swift CD I'm drawn into more thoughts of Paul. He seems angrier ever since he joined Sam's 'cult'. I'm pretty sure that the group that Paul's involved in, doesn't do drugs like everyone says they do, I just can't imagine Paul taking hardcore drugs. I have to admit that the whole is kind of weird; disappearing for up to two weeks, isolating from friends, and suddenly becoming huge. Sometimes I wonder why I even worry about Paul so much when he doesn't give a crap about me. The thought of Paul not caring about me makes me unbelievably sad.

"Ok, we're at your house," Anna jerks me back to reality with those few words. I open the door slowly.

"Bye, see you on Monday, I guess," I say back while waving.

"Bye, amiga," she replies. I walk up the path to my house. My house is very quaint and compact, with only two bedrooms and bathrooms. As I open the door I notice my mom laying down on the couch in the living room right next to the front entrance.

"Rayne, is that you?" she asks.

"Yeah mom, it's me, your daughter, your reason for living, your reason for everything," I joke with my mom. She's used to my constant backtalk so it doesn't affect her in the slightest.

"How was school?" she asks. What a standard question, 'How was school?', I've probably answered this question a thousand times in my life. How does she expect me to answer that question, 'Oh, it was amazing, it changed my life, nothing will ever be the same for as long as I live.' Jeez, give me a break. School is school, maybe if the teacher's cared about what they talked about then I would be more engaged to be excited about what they have to say, but I honestly don't give a crap. Hence, my C average.

"It was absolutely, positively, utterly, without a doubt, the most average day I've ever had in my life," I reply dryly back. She gives me a look before going into a whole spiel, in which she makes a point of mentioning that I should be grateful that I even go to school and that some kids would love to have what I have. To be frank, I would love to drop out and just get a job, I'm done with learning, they just repeat the same crap each year, because we didn't pay attention the year before.

"Whatever, madre, I'm taking a nap now," she scowls at me as I say this, but lets it go. I walk past her to the hallway that eventually leads to my bedroom. I love my room. It has the covers of hardback books tacked all over my walls with some random paintings I've done along with little trinkets. It's exactly how I want my room to be, down to the different blues on the wall (blue is my favorite color). I heave myself on my bed on top of my purple polka-dotted sheets, before trying to catch some sleep. Sadly, I'm way too amped up for some reason to sleep, or sit still, so I stand up instead and try to figure out what to do next. Run? Take a walk? Read? Homewo-no! Ugh, take a walk it is then. So, I throw on an old surfing brand sweatshirt, before leaving the house and telling mom I'm leaving for a little while. As I walk along the road, I notice myself nearing the beach so I decide to hang out there for a little bit, while I'm drawing closer to the beach I notice Paul and the rest of the 'gang' on the beach. My heart starts racing at the sight of Paul shirtless, I'm pathetic. I keep a calm face as I walk past them, right before I get past Paul I look up at him at the same time that he glances at me. Once we make eye contact, it's as though the whole world fades away and it's just me and Paul alone, together. We stare into each other's eyes. Me into his chocolate brown one's and him into my green one's. After ten seconds of unrelenting staring, Sam walks up to Paul and grabs him by the shoulder to pull both me and him out of our own little world. Paul looks at Sam, pissed, then realizes something it seems because soon after he's growling and shaking. Sam grabs Paul by the arms and tugs him into the nearby forest. But before Paul can be completely dragged into the forest he turns to look at me, with a look so fierce and resentful that it hurts my heart knowing that it's directed at me.

"I hate you. You ruined everything," Paul shouts at me, before being completely swept into the forest by Sam. I'm partly confused and partly devastated by what he says to me. What did I do to him, what did I ruin? I think to myself. I look around at the rest of his group, who all look shocked by Paul. Then look at me with pity. I suddenly acquire an unexplainable burst of anger. How dare Paul LaHote humiliate me like that. Screw him, I think. I stomp away back in the direction of my house, thinking the whole time that Paul isn't worth my thoughts, or cares. He's never once paid attention to me unless to embarrass me like that, yet I have an unjustified crush on him. I'm officially done with Paul LaHote.

Review and tell me how you feel about this, I just suddenly got an urge to write and decided to write after two years, haha.  
I appreciate all criticism, whether good or bad. -Happy Reading! :-) 


	2. Chapter 2

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...  
.Koi- Thanks for your review, I really appreciate what you had to say about my story; yeah sorry about the line spacing stuff, I don't have Word or anything-only Notepad (Which sucks)  
lunasky99- Thanks for your review, too! I'm glad you like the story.

Chapter 2:

Once I arrive home after my humiliation session, courtesy of Paul LaHote, I immediately get out my stress ball. After a couple of minutes using it and seeing as how it is not helping whatsoever I throw it at the wall. Screw stress balls, I think.

"Honey, dinner's ready," Mom yells to me. My stomach starts growling. I look over at the clock; 6:37, time to eat I guess.

"What are we having?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen.

"Spaghetti, your father wanted it," she replies. Ugh, I dislike spaghetti very much. I walk over to the tray with garlic, cheese bread, yum. Before I grab a piece of the bread I think for a second about how I wanted to lose a few pounds. Then I look down at my stomach grabbing the pudge there. Yeah, definitely could lose a few pounds, maybe that could make me more appealing to Pau-. Wait, stop! No thoughts of Paul. Detox, Rayne, detox. No I will lose a few pounds to benefit myself and no one else. Thus, I turn away from the amazing bready goodness.

"I don't really like spaghetti and my stomach kind of hurts, so I think I'll skip dinner tonight," I say to my Mom. She gives me a look.

"Rayne, you are beautiful, you do not need to not eat," she says back. I don't say anything back to her, I mean what do you say? Either you accept it, like you were looking for a compliment, or you deny it and look all depressed and self-hating. Whatever, I'm going to bed, today has been stressful enough.

I find myself thinking about Paul, as I lie in my bed. I wish it was easier to block Paul out of my thoughts, but at this point it's near impossible. Every moment of our confrontation seeems ingrained into my brain. His hateful expression causes an ache in my chest everytime I'm reminded of it in my thoughts. I can't get past why he would suddenly hate me. I did nothing to him, I never do anything that would garner any kind of attention, whether good or bad. I just looked in his direction. I turned in my bed completely saddened by the fact that the only boy that I have ever liked for a long period of time now hates me for no reason. This friday has sucked.

Much of the weekend passed by in a blur of boredom and contemplating 'The Incident', as I like to call the episode with Paul. Mostly, just me getting more and more depressed about the whole thing and realizing how weird it will be when I see him at school on Monday. Gotta love school.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!...BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!...Shut up, alarm! I get it, I need to wake up. I roll over on my bed to turn off my alarm at my bedside table. Finally, peace and tranquility...

"Rayne, are you up? It's 7:30ish," my Mom shouts to me. I jump out of bed, and run to take a quick shower. What a great way to start off this week, late and with wet hair. Once out of the shower, I throw on the first clean pair of jeans I can find before putting on a plain black t-shirt. My standard outfit, not showy, whatsoever. I put on a quick swipe of mascara, then brush my teeth. Soon I'm outside and running to Anna's car, where she's waiting in my driveway.

"Thanks, now we'll both be late," she says to me while pulling out and speeding down the road, trying to make up for lost time. If there's one thing she hates, then that one thing is being late. For some reason, it's her greatest pet peeve. I don't care whether or not I'm late to a class and the teacher's need to stop being all bitchy about it. Shit happens.

"Sorry, woke up late," I reply. Pretty soon the schools in view and we have five minutes before class starts. Anna whips into her parking spot before dashing to the front entrance. I just shake my head, before leisurely getting out of my car and heading to my first period, Honors Civics. Just to make things clear, I hate Civics, I mean government, are you kidding me? Why do they try to teach us this stuff? Like we actually care during our high school years. Rrrrrriiiiiinnnnnngggggggg. As I walk into said classroom, all eyes turn to me, including the teacher's, Mrs. Averey. She glares, I don't care, I'm more embarrassed to have all eyes on me than mad that I'm late.

"Ms. Parker, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence, I hope it isn't an inconvenience that class starts so early at eight o'clock," she says condescending towards me. I hate how teachers feel all important from the little power they have.

"Sorry, Mrs. Averey, it'll never happen again," I mumble to her before going to my desk in the back corner. Yeah, it'll most likely happen again, I mean, I'm only human, right? After that incident class goes by in constant droning by the teacher, sarcastic remarks by the usual, few class clowns, and my perpetual silence. The bell sounds, time for a repeat of first period. I go through the next few classes in the same manner, until lunch, where I may actually see Paul. He's a senior and I'm a junior so we don't have any classes together, except in lunch where grade doesn't matter. I walk through the entrance to the cafeteria to the table where my friends are.

"Hey," both Anna and Casey greet at the same time.

"Hey," I reply back. I look around the room trying to be as inconspicuous when I look towards the table where Paul and his group usually sit, without any outsiders other than their girlfriends. I notice Paul almost immediately. I notice that as my eyes find him, his whole body seems to tense, as though he can sense my eyes on him. He turns around quickly to meet my eyes, first looking almost adoringly at me, before switching his expression to pure hate and revulsion. I try not to let it show that it pained me to see that expression as I turn back to my friends.

"Ready to get lunch, Casey?" I ask, knowing Anna never eats school food.

"Yeah, sure," she says. We both stand up and walk towards the line for the food. I decide on the chicken nuggets, while Casey explains some story of hers. I swear she always has something to tell.

"Last Saturday, I went to the beach and I saw Paul LaHote there" (at his name I instantly perk up) "and one thing led to another and so, yeah, you know, it happened..." she trails off suggestively. I feel sick to my stomach not wanting to hear about Paul doing 'it' with anyone, let alone one of my best friends. I move out of the line knowing I won't be able to eat after hearing that news.

"Aren't you getting food?" Casey asks, unknowing.

"No, my stomach doesn't feel right," I answer, then turn and walk out of the food area to our table. Anna looks up.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer harshly back. Why do I care who Paul has been with, he means nothing to me, nothing. Still, as I look towards him my stomach twists painfully and before I know it, I'm rushing towards the bathrooms and throwing up what little I ate the day before. I lay down in my little stall, suppressing tears. Soon, I hear quick footsteps coming towards me.

"Holy shit, Rayne, are you okay? You just ran away back there. What the hell happened?" Anna asks from right outside the stall. I weakly pull myself up from the ground and open the door. Anna rushes to me saying that I need to go to the nurse. I don't argue, I feel insanely sick and tired all of a sudden. While walking to nurse we pass by Paul, he looks up at me concerned and tortured. He looks like he is having an inner battle with himself. Eventually, he stomps away shaking like crazy. I sigh, as the pain in my chest only grows. We enter the nurse's office, where Mrs. Brooke is reading a magnazine, before jumping up and helping Anna take me to a bed.

"What happened? Are you sick?" she asks in a hurry. Anna explains everything while I lay down on the little bed. My last thought as I lay on the bed is the knowledge that Paul LaHote truly hates me.

Soooooo review and tell me how you liked it...the good, the bad, the ugly.


	3. Chapter 3

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...nada .Koi- Thanks for your feedback and understanding about the notepad stuff. Yeah, Casey can be kind of mean...  
lunasky99- Haha, Paul sucks ;-)

Chapter 3:

I gasped violently, lurching from the bed before collapsing back. What the hell happened? I wonder to myself. All of a sudden it all comes rushing back to me; the glares from Paul, Casey and Paul's hookup, and finally me getting sick. I groan, still feeling nauseous and melancholic. As I look around the room with blurry eyes I realize I'm in my own room, on my own bed. Weird. How did this happen? Before I know it my Mom are in my room, at my bedside.

"Oh, honey, I thought I heard movement in here. How are you feeling? It was so scary getting a phone call from your school nurse with her saying you passed out. Luckily, nothing's wrong. You just need to rest and relax. You fainted on the nurse's bed from a panic attack, apparently. Honey, is everything alright? Is there anything you need to tell me about school or anything at all?" Mom asks. Ugh, what am I supposed to tell her? There is a boy messing with my emotions? No, I can't tell her that and even if I did, why is Paul having such a huge affect on me? I sigh and turn to my Mom.

"Mom, there's nothing wrong, you don't need to worry. I'm just really stressed out right now with school and all," I lie easily to my Mom. I don't care what my grades are, or anything. Luckily, Mom doesn't seem to notice at all. She sits down on the bed beside me and hugs me to her.

"Rayne, it's ok. Don't get so stressed over school, right now. You're not perfect, no one is so just do your best. That's all I could ever ask of you," Mom says encouragingly. That's the hard thing about lying to my Mom. She's too damned understanding! It makes me feel like crap lying to her, but it must be done. I don't feel like getting into a big discussion about boys with her right now, or ever for that matter. So instead, I hug her back and nod. We sit there for a moment longer before she gets up and goes towards the kitchen to make dinner. I collapse back on my bed, exhausted, then turn to look at my bedside clock. Seven o'clock! Holy crap, I've been out for hours that cannot be healthy. As I'm contemplating why I was out for so long Mom comes back into my room.

"You have a visitor. A boy named Paul LaHote," of course she has to wink suggestively. "Should I tell him you aren't feeling up to talking to visitors, or should I let him in?" Mom asks, while smirking at me. I can't help but to feel a pull in my chest telling me to see him and talk to him, but at the same time, why the hell is he here, at my house? To play some sick joke? Does he actually care? A little voice in my head says yes, but the rest of me recalls when he told me he hated me.

"Yeah, let him in." I'm sort of curious why he would come here, so why not? I walk to the front door with my Mom and she opens the door to reveal a very distressed Paul. He has bags under his eyes and he looks as though he hasn't gotten any sleep lately. I'm struck with a wave of worry for him. Is everything alright? Once we make eye contact, his tense shoulders seem to relax instantly and he lets out a sigh, of relief? I look around and it seems like Mom left to give us privacy. I close the door and stand outside, with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Why are you here?" I ask curiously. He runs a hand threw his hair.

"I had to make sure you were alright, I was wor-...," he trails, cutting himself off. I raise an eyebrow at him. Why was he doing this? I thought I 'ruined' everything.

"We're not friends...we never talk," I say the last part quietly. "How do you even know where I live?" I ask suspiciously. He lets out a frustrated breath, slightly shaking.

"Whatever, I shouldn't have come here," he says harshly. He's so weird, one minute he cares and the next he's back to hating me. What is wrong with him?

With a surge of confidence I say, "Well why did you then, I never asked you to. In fact, I don't want you here at all. So leave if you're going to be a douche." He glares right into my eyes. It almost penetrates my soul, with its ferocity.

"You don't understand anything. You don't realize what I'm fighting here. You just don't realize anything at all. I never had a choice in any of this. All my free will was ripped away with one look, everything I knew changed with that one look." By the end of the rant I'm extremely confused, it seems like he was talking to himself because nothing made sense to me. I did understand one thing though.

"Everyone has a choice," I state back simply, even though I don't know what he's referring to in this.

He laughs bitterly. "Exactly," he states in return. He then stomps away towards the woods next to my house.

I stand there confused, what the hell just happened? I was just arguing with a boy, whom I've had a crush on for years and who also didn't know my existence until a few days ago, but now feels willing to show up at my house randomly? Something weird is going on, indeed, to have Paul LaHote, the biggest manwhore on La Push, suddenly interested in talking to me. I sigh, my brain hurting from all the thinking and questions that are going through my mind. I turn and go inside my house.

(The Next Day)

I wake up the next morning in a terrible mood, which seems pretty normal recently. I get ready in a rush, dreading seeing Paul again after our argument. It seems like I'm always dreading seeing Paul in one way or another.

Before I know it, I'm at school and sitting through another pointless lesson. On the brightside, no run-ins with Paul yet. But even as I think that I can't help but to feel somewhat disappointed that I haven't seen him today. Urgh, I have to keep my emotions in check, this is getting out of hand. As lunch nears, I realize I'm going to have to see Casey. I still feel some resentment towards her, but she had no idea that I liked him at all, so why should it matter to me at all, right? It's just frustrating to know Paul slept with my best friend. It feels like I got slapped in the face.

I try not to think about the twinge of betrayal I feel when I sit down across from Casey and Anna at our table. I just fake smile and they believe everything's all good. I can't help but to look over where I know Paul sits usually. He's not there, but everyone else at that table looks in my direction, with sympathy on their faces. Screw them. Why are they even giving me those faces anyway? I hate pity, so I just look away quickly and tune back into the conversation between Anna and Casey.

"...such a bitch. She thinks we're friends, but she's so annoying," Casey complains to Anna, who looks at her incredulously. It seems like Casey is always talking crap about people. It never used to bother me before, but now I'm annoyed along with Anna, who's always annoyed by it.

I look to Casey and snap to her, "Why are you always bitching about people? You can be so fake sometimes. Everyone thinks you're they're friend when you always talk shit. Do you do this about me to other people? Be real." It feels good to vent out all the frustration I've been feeling lately. Both Anna and Casey look at me in shock, while Casey looks slightly hurt. I start to regret my words.

"I'm sorry, I've just been really stressed and frustrated lat-" I start to say.

"Save it," Casey cuts in, before standing up abruptly and leaving the cafeteria. I sigh, I shouldn't have done that. But she can be so frustrating sometimes! Anna's still looking at me in shock.

"Wow, I've never heard you stand against Casey. Ever," Anna states.

"Whatever, I shouldn't have said anything, that's just how she is and all..." I trail off, unsure.

"No, she needs to be brought down a peg or two. She's gotten even worse over the last year, with her arrogance. She thinks she's above everyone and that all the guys love her and are obsessed with her. Well, except for Paul LaHote. I saw her yesterday trying to flirt with him in the hallway, but he completely ignored her and walked away. He wasn't interested at all. It was hilarious, you should've seen her face. Totally shocked," Anna starts to laugh then. I can't help but to be surprised though that Paul turned her down. Suddenly, I feel guilty for talking crap.

"Let's stop talking about her, I feel bad. I mean she is still our friend and all, no matter what," I say. She mutters something along the lines of, 'maybe your friend.' I choose to ignore her and go back over this new piece of information. Even though Paul already slept with Casey, he still turned her down yesterday, and no one has ever turned down Casey Abrams for as long as I've known her for.

Very interesting.

Sorry for the late update, have had a lot going on; job interview, application...all that fun stuff that comes along with life.  
Review and tell me how you feel. -Happy Reading! 


	4. Chapter 4

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...nada Thank You .Koi for your continued support and yes the interview went fine, thanks! And thank you to everyone else that has reviewed my story!  
This chapter is partly in Paul's POV...just to show what he thinks of everything.

Chapter 4: (Paul's POV)

Why is this happening? I never asked for an imprint. I never wanted an imprint, so why do I have one? Ever since I became a wolf and learned about imprinting I thought it would never happen to me. It's supposed to be rare! But of course I had to look into her eye's and have everything be screwed up from now on. The whole idea of imprinting is just messed up. I mean, come on, you look into someone's eyes and instantly fall in love? It's sick and weird. I don't care how much my chest hurts to be away from her. I don't care how much I want to be by her side to comfort her, to love her, to just be with her. I don't care how much it hurts to stay away. I never asked for this and I will fight this until the bitter end. No magical bullshit crap will ever dictate my actions. I just have to keep my emotions in check and then I can do it. Hopefully, my emotions will listen.

(Back to Rayne's POV)

Walking home alone is scary. Legit, it's freaking scary, especially when your town is mostly comprised of woods filled with unimaginable horrors. Ok, so maybe I'm being slightly dramatic, but it's still scary. This whole walking, horror thing started when I forgot to tell my Mom that Anna couldn't give me a ride home from school. She had to stay after for some club meeting, or whatever. So now she is in the middle of errands and I am forced to walk home alone. It sucks, to say the least, especially since today hadn't been going too well anyway ever since my freak-out on Casey. Now I'm paranoid that a wild animal will emerge and decide it wants to eat me. I pull my bag closer to me as I scan the woods surrounding the road, checking for said wild animals. I walk faster and try to think of something to get my mind off of 'what could happen scenarios.' Paul. Shit, not him again. I need to stop with him, but it's seriously hard. I feel like I have an intense heroin addiction, with Paul being my heroin. It's just his eyes are the perfect shade of brown and his hair is messy in the best way possible... I give up, he's amazing so I'm just going to daydream some more about him. I imagine him saying how much he loves me, saying how we are perfect for each other, how he couldn't live without me. I imagine him kissing me for the first ti-. What was that?! I look over to the place in the shrubs where I heard the rustling. Crap, the bushes are moving. I repeat, the bushes are freaking moving! My heart starts racing. I speed walk down the side of the road, keeping my eyes on that same spot. Please do not be something that could kill me. Please do not be something that could kill me. I chant as a mantra in my head. As I continue looking in that same spot I notice something emerging. My heart continues to pound in my chest. What the heck is that? I look closer and stop walking. Is that seriously a squirrel?! I'm officially the weakest person that lives. I take a deep breath and calm my rapidly beating heart. No one ever has to know about this, I think to myself. With that in mind, I turn around to continue my journey home. As I turn I see a shape out of my peripheral vision. I look closer. A wolf. A silver wolf. A massive, humongous horse-sized wolf. I'm dead is the first thought that crosses my brain as I look at the wolf. I'm frozen to the spot in fear. What am I supposed to do? Run, or stay still? The wolf stares at me. Almost, cautiously? I shake as I watch the wolf carefully back away into the woods, but something happens when I make eye contact with it. Its eye's are familiar. I can't quite place whose eye's they remind me of, but something in its gaze tells me it means no harm. The wolf freezes before it disappears from view. It rests its sad gaze on me. Something about that look creates an uncomfortable tug in my chest pulling me towards the wolf. I take a hesitant step in the direction the wolf, but it disappears before I can get any closer. I blink rapidly pulling myselffrom my stupor. I'm going crazy. Why am I walking towards a wild animal? I shake my head and continue home. This has been a really weird walk, I conclude. I'm just going to forget about the familiar looking wolf and the evil, scary squirrel. Sounds like a plan.

"Rayne, is that you?" Mom asks as I enter the front door.

"Yeah," I reply going immediately to my room.

"I actually need to talk to you about something serious. Can you come back here?" she asks from the living room. I walk over and sit down on the chair opposite of her.

"What is it?" She looks at me with a sad expression. Oh, crap, what happened?

"Your cousin Riley, well, he...he's been missing for a couple days now. I didn't want to say anything unless I knew for sure that things were serious," Mom's voice cracked at the end of the sentence. I got up and hugged her.

"Are there any leads, any evidence at all?" I ask.

"No, that's the weird part of the whole thing. There's nothing at all, he just went missing after he left a friend's house. Jean and Scott are devastated. Their only son is missing without a clue in sight," Mom hugs me tighter at those words. I'm overcome with emotion thinking about when I was younger and me and Riley would play together. Even though he was a few years older he always hung out with me and now he's missing. I try to hold back tears and stand up.

"I just want to go to my room right now. Are you going to be ok?" I ask. She nods her head and lies down on the sofa. I walk to my room barely able to contain my tears. I collapse on my bed and face down into my pillow. What could have happened to Riley? He wasn't weak or anything. In fact, he was actually pretty strong looking the last time that I saw him. He was trying to bulk up for football. The tears flow faster thinking about all that he had going on, all his ambitions. I hope that he's ok wherever he is. He doesn't deserve to have something like this happen. He's always been so kind and nice to everyone. He was my best friend when I was younger. I change into my pajamas and lie back down on the bed. I can't help the tears that continue to fall and the sobs that follow. Suddenly, a pain-filled howl pierces the silent night. I sit up in my bed startled. Could it be the wolf that I saw earlier today? My heart thuds loudly against my chest. Oh my gosh, is all I can think as I lay back down on my bed. I lay there for another ten minutes or so listening for any more howls before exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.

The next morning goes by in similar fashion that all the other mornings go by in, except for the constant worry I feel regarding Riley. I hope to God that he returns safe. Everything continues normally until I notice Paul staring at me in the hallways. Usually I never encounter him because of our schedule differences, but today is different, I guess. At every turn it seems as though Paul is always there just staring at me. Almost like he is waiting for something with suppressed concern. He makes everything so confusing! It seems like I'm not the only one noticing his looks. At lunch, Casey looks at me in annoyance, while Anna looks at me in curiosity.

"Why the hell has Paul LaHote been staring at you all morning?" Casey asks accusingly. I just shrug at her, noticing Paul starting to shake at his table, while his friends look over in my direction. Casey huffs and leans back in her chair, whilst Anna becomes even more curious.

"Yeah, it's like his eyes having been following you all morning...weird," she states to me. I shrug again, not knowing what to say when even I don't know what is happening.

"I don't know what to say. All of sudden, it seems like he's paying attention to me. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. It's seriously messing with my head. I wish he would just leave me alone," I say to them, but can't help to feel that I don't really mean the last part of my words. A crash sounds through the cafeteria and everything silences. I look up and Paul storms out from his table to the doors after knocking his chair over, hence the crash. One of his friends follows after him. I look at my friends with wide eyes.

"Did he hear us or something?" I whisper to them.

"That's impossible he was sitting across the room from us and we weren't even talking loud," Casey responds.

"I guess, but that was a weird coincidence," I state.

"Oh, well, that was all it was though, a coincidence," Anna puts in. I nod but can't help to feel that he heard us, it was extremely coincidental.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom now. Do you guys need to come, too?" They shake their heads at me so I walk out the same way that Paul just stomped out in. I near the bathrooms and hear hushed whispers echo down the hall. I stop just outside the bathroom door and try to listen in once I recognize my name in the conversation.

"She's perfect for you. Why can't you see it? You have to stop being so stubborn and accept that this is what is meant to be," I hear someone say. A distinct growl permeates through the hall. Are they referring to me?

"I don't care. I want my own choice no matter what. I don't care about what she's feeling at the moment, we are obviously wrong for each other. She even said it that she wants me to leave her alone. I'm just following what she's telling me," Paul snaps back. I suck in a sharp breath. So Paul did hear me after all. I enter the bathroom trying to figure out what I'm feeling right now. Anger, confusion, sadness, shock? How could he hear me first of all and what the hell was the other guy talking about with me being perfect? I take a deep breath and look in the mirror, seeing my boring black curly hair and average features. They have to be talking about someone else. I obviously misheard my name and am now imagining all this crap about it being connected to me. I just need to take a step back and take a deep breath. But one question is still nagging me.

Who are they referring to if it's not me?

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	5. Chapter 5

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...nada Thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 5:

The next week has past by in a blur of glares from Paul, aches in my chest, and looks from my friend's because of Paul's weird behavior. Overall, my life has gotten very strange indeed.

Now I find myself once again in my last period class waiting impatiently for the bell to ring on a Friday. Ugh, nothing ever changes in this boring, small town. I tap my pencil on the table listening once again to my seat neighbor drone on and on.

"Actually I wanted to ask you something..." Ryan begins to say. I look up, his change of tone catching my attention. I raise my eyebrow and motion for him to continue on. He takes a deep breath.

"So would you um, want to go out sometime? Maybe this weekend?" Ryan asks unsure. My heart stops. What the hell? I think in my head. Let me just clarify something, no one has ever and I mean never, asked me out before. This is really weird, but it kind of feels good to have someone actually like me for once, instead of just pining for a boy who doesn't give a shit about me. I snap back to reality when I hear a fake cough from Ryan. Oh, yeah I need to say something.

"Um, I didn't know you liked me or anything. Uh, I guess, sure?" I say while my voice cracks. I hate my voice, it betrays me every chance it gets.

Ryan instantly acquires a smile on his face and scoots his chair a little bit closer to mine. I immediately stiffen, this feels wrong for some reason. I can't help, but to wish Paul was Ryan right now. Ugh! I need to stop with Paul LaHote. He'll never like me so I need to move on and even though Ryan is kind of annoying he's nice.

"I can pick you up at your house tonight at six-ish and we can hang out in Port Angeles. Is that okay?" I nod and give him directions to my house. He goes back to telling me stuff about PS3's that I don't care about and so I look around the room. Everyone is looking at us, crap. I hate being in small towns, everyone gossips since everyone knows everyone and I'm such a social pariah that it's most likely shocking that I'm going out with anyone. People need to mind their own buisness, seriously.

After class, I find my friends and tell them the news about my upcoming date. To say they look shocked would be an understatement.

"Thanks guys. I know I'm pathetic, but I didn't think it was that bad for it to be so appalling that I have a date," I say dryly.

"It's not that, it's just that, you're kind of shy and all," Anna tries to explain.

"Exactly," Casey agrees. Weird to see Anna and Casey agreeing about something.

"I don't know what's going to happen. I've never been on a date before, it's definitely going to be kind of awkward with me being socially inept," I say just as Paul walks by. He freezes, frozen to the spot then slowly turns around to face me. Our eyes meet and his is full of anger, pain, and betrayal. He starts shaking before it quickly grows to an unhealthy level. I break eye contact and look at his form in concern.

"Are you okay? Do you have seizures?" I ask clueless. His friends Jared and Embry appear and drag an Paul away. An ache in my chest begins as he is pulled out of sight. What is wrong with him? Is he okay? I can't help but to worry about him.

"Paul is officially insane," Casey states. I fight the urge to defend Paul and reluctantly nod in agreement.

"Definitely," Anna agrees as we start to walk out the school. I can see Paul and his group huddled near the trees lining the school, Paul still shaking. The ache grows in my chest and I desperately want to run over there and make sure everything is okay with him, but instead I climb into Anna's car hoping everything is okay with him.

"Hey mom, I'm going to hang out with someone tonight at six. That's fine, right?" I say seeing my Mom in the kitchen making dinner after school. She looks up.

"Yeah, that's fine. Who are you hanging with? Anna and Casey?" she asks.

"Actually, a guy named Ryan," I immediately catch her attention there. She drops what she's doing and turns to face me, raising both eyebrows.

"Really, now. A date, perhaps?" She smirks at me. I groan and bury my face in my hands.

"Yes, but I'm not in the mood to discuss all this with you," I say.

"You're first date. Wow. Do you really like him?" she asks.

"Eh, he's nice," I say. She frowns at me.

"Don't lead him on, that would be very mean of you. What if he really likes you?" my Mom scolds me.

"I doubt he likes me that much, but don't worry I'm going to 'lead' him on or anything," I say.

"Okay, then...So what are you going to wear?" she asks.

"I don't know!" I say exasperated. Talking about my upcoming date is making me kind of anxious about the whole thing. Nothing feels right about it, it just feels forced and unnatural.

"Don't be rude to me, I'm still your mother," Mom says to me.

"I'm just going to get ready now." I start to walk away.

"Ooh! Wear that really pretty black shirt with the buckle," Mom exclaims. I just continue to walk away from her and go into my room. My Mom is such a mom.

I tap my foot on the floor, sitting on the couch and looking at the clock. I still have ten minutes before he should be here. My anxiety levels are at an all time high right now and my heart is racing. I'm not ready for this date at all. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm probably going to look like an idiot. Oh, and the best part of the whole thing is that I can't stop thinking about Paul. I can't stop myself from wishing that he was the one taking me out and not Ryan. I feel bad though when I think that because Ryan is a good guy, it's just Paul is Paul. I sigh, five minutes to go.

My Mom smiles next to me on the couch flipping through channels on the TV, while my Dad eats an early dinner in the kitchen. I decided on a very simple and casual outfit, seeing as how I don't know what we'll be doing. A black v-neck shirt that makes me look skinny, a flattering pair of dark skinny jeans and a pretty silver necklace that completes the whole casual look. I curled my hair slightly in certain places where my natural curls were messed up and used a curling gell to keep the curls right. Overall, I looked a lot better than I usually look at school. I keep my make-up simple. Too much make-up just looks tacky. Ding-ding, the doorbell chimes. Holy crap, I'm going on a date.

"Bye honey, have a good time," Mom says, hugging me.

"Yeah, have fun," Dad adds on.

I stand up and grab my jacket and purse and answer the door. Ryan answers the door in casual clothes like myself. He smiles down at me and grabs my hand. My hand better not start sweating.

"Are you ready to go, or do I need to come in and talk to your parents?" Ryan asks. I shake my head.

"We're good, I already talked to them." He nods and we walk to his car. An old, beat-up Corolla. The entire inside of the car looks kind of beat up, but the stereo looks brand new.

"Sorry, this car isn't the best," he says shyly.

"I don't mind at all. I hate it when someone just gets their license and their parents buy them a new car instantly. They should earn it, so it's cool that you actually bought your car," I say. That's exactly why I don't drive around places. Cars aren't cheap and my parents don't have have enough money to buy cars. They're still driving cars from the '90s for as long as the engine lasts. Ryan looks over at me and smiles down at me again, looking pleased with what I said. I smile back, but an uneasy feeling spreads in my stomach. Things still don't feel right.

"You know, I've liked you for a long time now. You aren't like the other girls, that are all so loud and obnoxious. You're subdued and quiet and that's what I like about you." Whoa, did he just say say that? My face feels like it's on fire.

"Thanks," I say quietly. I feel so awkward. No one has ever liked me before and now some guy is taking me out on a date and saying that he really likes me.

"I was thinking that we could check out this party here in La Push, instead of going to Port Angeles. I just heard about it and it's supposed to be fun, but we could still go to Port Angeles if you really want to go?" he asks.

"Whatever you want to do is fine. I don't mind either way," I say. I've never been to a party before. I've heard about them, but I'm not exactly in the group that has the parties and goes to them. I'm even more nervous thinking about the party where I know I won't have any friends at. I don't want to seem all picky though on what we do.

"Party, then," he says easily back. I gulp, what have I gotten myself into? First, a date, now a party. This cannot end well.

Loud music, tons of people, and beer. So this is what a party is like. Ryan holds my hand and leads me through the living room of the house and to the kitchen.

"Want a drink?" he asks. I nod and he hands me a cup of beer. I've never drank before, but I chug down the contents of the cup, not wanting to look even more out of place. He grabs my cup and fills it back up and fills another one up for himself. We start talking about random stuff and I learn that we don't really have much in common, in terms of likes and dislikes.

"Wanna dance a little?" he asks grabbing my hand and pulling me towards where a crowd of people are dancing to obnoxious music. I sway a little while he leads me there, only then realizing that I've dranken way more than I should have. I nod and we start moving to the music. I go along with what everyone else is doing, knowing I don't have a clue how to dance.

After a couple minutes I start to really get into the beats and lost in the music. As I find the perfect rythmn, Ryan abruptly grabs the back of my head and pulls me in for a kiss. I gasp, surprised. I was not expecting that and it does not feel right to be kissing him, but in my drunkan stupor I let him continue to kiss me aggressively. Soon, we're making out against the wall and I try to block out thoughts of Paul, but he somehow creeps his way back into my mind. I can't stop myself from imagining him kissing me instead of Ryan. I pull away from the kiss and sigh, frustrated. I need to forget him once and for all. I'm tired of my unrequited feelings towards him. I spot the beer on the counter and grab a cup filling it to the top and downing it in a single gulp. I turn back to Ryan and he looks at me surprised, but I just pull him in for another kiss. The amount of alcohal that I drank takes its affect on me and I can no longer think of anything else but the fact that I'm now laying on a bed making out with Ryan. That is until I hear shouting and stomping. I try to pull away from Ryan, but he pulls me back to him. I melt into the kiss and once again forget about all my worries surrounding me.

The door slams open and I look up, seeing Sam Uley. What the hell is he doing here?

"Time to leave and go home. The party's over," Uley tells us. He takes a closer look at us and his eyes widen once he recognizes me. Someone walks up to him in the doorway.

"Are they the only people left? I want to get home," Paul says to Uley. Wait, Paul? Paul's here? I gasp and Paul's head snaps up to see me, instantly. He takes in the scene before him. Me lying on top of Ryan with our clothes in disarray. This does not look good. My face flushes with embarrassment, but Ryan looks unfazed. I look back to Paul and he looks murderous as he glares down at Ryan.

"What the hell is going on?! Get off of her! NOW!" Paul shouts before charging towards Ryan. Oh, crap!

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	6. Chapter 6

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...nada

Love to see people actually liking my story, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 6:

"Paul stop!" I shout as Paul grabs Ryan's shirt to pull him up off the bed and into the wall. Ryan's relaxed expression has turned into a frightened look as Paul threatens to rip his shirt. Shit, this is getting serious. Why hasn't Sam intervened yet? I wonder to myself.

"Never touch her again. If you do I swear you will wish you were dead by the time I'm done with you," Paul states to Ryan, his voice deadly calm for once.

"Calm down, she's not your girlfriend or anything, dude," Ryan says to Paul. It seems that, that one comment made Paul snap. His shaking increases tenfold. Sam runs up to Paul and pulls him away, but not before Paul is able to land a punch in Ryan's face. Ryan lets out a groan as blood starts to pour out of his nose. I run to Ryan and pull his hands from his face. It's broken and already starting to swell up. I turn to Paul and glare at him fiercely. Paul's expression turns pained once we make eye contact. His face almost looks apologetic. Yeah right, he's never sorry about anything.

"What the hell are you thinking? You're psycho! He never did anything to you, why would you do that?!" I yell at Paul. I drag Ryan from the room before Paul is able to do any more harm. Ryan is still moaning from the force of the punch as we walk. We reach his car and quickly get in. I'm paranoid Paul will come out of nowhere and beat Ryan up again and it seems like Ryan is feeling the same type of paranoia because he's rushing to start the car and leave. Let me tell you one thing, Paul is beyond scary when he's mad and just then, he wasn't just mad, he was deadly furious. I look around and notice for the first time that all the people are gone from the house and no cars are present. I let out a sigh of relief, realizing that no one knows what went down between Paul and Ryan. Ryan grabs a napkin and presses it against his nose, his expression still scared. He finally successfully starts the car and pulls away.

"What was that about? Are you going out with him or something? If you're not, what the hell is his problem?" he asks. His words are muffled from the napkin that's pressed against his nose.

"No! I would never go out with him. He's just weird," is all I can come up with to explain his odd behavior. Something is not right with him, or his group. They all shake at a level that is in no way healthy, or normal but are all fine after they stop. Out of nowhere a wolf howls painfully loud in the nearby forest. I jump in my seat and scream while Ryan swerves his car before straightening out.

"Holy crap! Now a freaking wolf is howling right next to us. This night has been one of the weirdest nights of my life," Ryan says, looking paranoid and peering all around the outside.

"I'm so sorry about your nose. I honestly have no idea why Paul would do that. I've never been with him or anything at all," I try to reassure Ryan. He looks at me still freaked out and shakes his head. The rest of the ride back to my house is filled with an awkward, tense silence. I can't help but to feel bad about everything as if it's all my fault, but I really have no idea why Paul would react that way.

Soon enough we arrive back to my house. Ryan shuts off his car and turns to me.

"I actually did have a good time with you until Paul ruined it," Ryan says to me. I smile slightly, a little uncomfortable only now realizing that we'd been making out on a random bed. I'm not the kind of girl to do that stuff but I guess all the alcohal I drank took control. I cough a little.

"Yeah, me too. It was fun," I manage to say back, feeling weird about everything. Ryan grimaces when he tries to smile.

"Well I guess I'll see you next week," Ryan says as I get out of the car.

"Bye, sorry again about all that crap with Paul," I reply.

"It's fine a broken nose is nothing, Paul's insane...see you later," he tries to joke before speeding away. Yeah, he doesn't like me anymore. I don't really blame him, either since Paul went crazy on him and all, apparently because of me making out with him. Ugh, this sucks. Even though I never liked him that that much, it was still nice to have someone like me for once. Once I'm in the house, I notice my Mom waiting in the living room for me. She looks up as she hears me enter.

"Hey, so how was your date?" she asks. I keep walking to my room hoping she doesn't get close enough to smell the alcohol on me.

"Oh, you know, it was fine," I reply. She gives me an uncertain look.

"Did anything happen that I should know about?" she asks. I open my bedroom door before replying.

"No, nothing happened at all. I'm just really tired, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight," I lie quickly, shutting my door before she is able to say anything else. I change into my pajamas hearing a faint howl in the distance. What the heck is wrong with La Push? There's always howling, I'm convinced we have some kind of wolf problem here. I climb into bed and try to sleep. Sadly, my mind is still running a mile a minute trying to process everything that has happened in the last 24 hours. A sort of date, making out for the first time, and then a freak out from Paul LaHote for no reason. This day has been ridiculous to say the least. I mean, why would Paul flip at seeing me with Ryan? We're not friends, as much as I wish we were, and we're not even really acquintances. The only connection I have to Paul LaHote is that I'm pathetically in love with him, even though I've been trying to forget about him for weeks now. I don't even know why I like him at all. I just feel a weird connection to him that I can't explain. He's probably the worst person to be pining for in La Push. He's a manwhore, a jerk, and has serious anger issues. Nothing that he had ever done before had deterred me from him, but seeing him today ready to kill Ryan kind of freaked me out. It looked like he lost all control of everything and seeing someone like that does have an effect on a person.

Thinking about his murderous gaze, I curl into a ball in my bed. I wish he wasn't so angry all the time. It seems like ever since he joined Sam Uley's group all he's ever been is angry. Sure, before he had anger issues, but now it's on a whole new level. Now it's rare to see him smiling. It's saddening knowing that he's so angry but I have no idea what I could do for him and he probably wouldn't want me to be around him anyway to help. I just wish things were different. I wish that I was the kind of girl that Paul would like. I wish that Paul wasn't so unhappy. Ugh, I just wish.

Monday. Need I say more?

Lunchtime. I do not want to face Paul after what happened on Friday. Seriously, this sucks...

"So have you seen Paul yet today?" Anna asks before Casey gets to the table. Obviously I had to tell someone about what happened so I figured Anna wouldn't gossip and Casey probably would so, yeah, Anna was my only option in this case.

"No and I'm dreading it every second of the day. I mean he caught me making out with someone and then punched said person. No sane person does that!" I exclaim to Anna.

"I get where you're coming from, but if I were you I would want to know why he did that. Maybe he likes you?" she questions. I let out a bitter laugh.

"That's a sick way of showing it," I state. She shrugs.

"He probably doesn't know how to express his feelings. Most guys are like that." Now it's my turn to shrug.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Casey greets as she sits down.

"It's Monday, we're in school, I'm tired," I say bluntly in response.

"Debby Downer," Casey mutters under her breath. I shoot her a glare, while Anna laughs.

"Can you come to the bathroom with me?" Anna asks. I nod in agreement and we head towards the bathrooms. As we pass through the double doors Paul storms in and once again knocks into me. This time Paul steadys me and gives me a once over. To check for injuries? Hell, I have no idea why, I'm nothing to look at. His concerned look that he wore at first fades into one of frustration.

"Watch where you're going, freak," Paul says to me before stomping away towards his table. His words would have had more of an effect on me if it had not been for the pain that I saw in his eyes. A feeling in my gut tells me that he didn't mean it. So all I can do is ignore it and walk away. Story of my life.

"F him. Such an asshole," Anna fumes. We continue to the bathrooms. Upon entering the bathrooms, Anna turns to me with an expression that instantly makes me suspicious about what she's about to say.

"I really think you should ask him why he flipped out on you and Ryan. It wasn't normal and you have a right to know." I shake my head.

"No way. He'll kill me if I try to confront him about anything. Everyone in this school is afraid of him and I'm no exception."

"You need to grow a pair and stop being such a wimp. He couldn't have just punched Ryan for no reason. Ryan's not someone who has issues with anyone. Just go up to his table and ask to talk to him and refuse to take no for an answer. It'll make you feel better if you stood up to him in some way and not let what he did slide," she advises.

"You don't understand. I'm so quiet, I could never just go up to someone like that and demand to speak to them about something and especially not in the cafeteria. Everyone would stare. It would be way too awkward," I reason. She rolls her eyes.

"Wow, you need to break out of that shell of yours. Aren't you tired of people walking all over you? You need to take a stand and stand up for yourself. Just now, he shoved past you and didn't even say anything. If you don't stand up for yourself now, will you ever?"

For some reason her words resonates with me. Yes, I am tired of Paul walking all over me. I'm tired of everyone doing that. No one cares because they know I won't defend myself. But I'm tired of this shit. Yes, I WILL stand up for myself from now on. Starting with Paul.

"You know what I will say something to Paul. Right now," I say walking out of the bathrooms with Anna trying to catch up to my speed walking self. I march up to Paul's table, ignoring the surprised looks from his friends and focus solely on Paul.

"I need to talk to you. Now," I order, somehow knowing that Paul will follow me out into the hallway. He does.

"Look, I'm tired of you messing with me. I have no idea why you're suddenly interested in messing with my mind. But I need you to stop with it. Ever since you screamed at me at the beach a couple weeks ago, you've been nothing but a jerk to me every chance you get and I don't appreciate it one bit. And why did you punch Ryan at the party last Friday? He did nothing to you and you punched him for no reason whatsoever. You need to either stop being such a jerk to me, or stay away and keep your jerky self away," I say all in one breath. I take a huge gulp of breath. He stares at me openmouthed.

"He was, uh, touching you and all...I didn't think he should be doing that. Sorry?" He stumbles over his words, unsure. Ha! I made Paul stumble.

I smile and turn to walk away, feeling incredibly satisfied to leave THE Paul LaHote dumbfounded. I don't think I've ever felt that good in my whole life. I look back to Paul and see him standing in the same spot, his expression still shocked. I laugh and continue to walk away. I need to stick up for myself more often if this is what it feels like, I think to myself.

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	7. Chapter 7

*Don't own Twilight, nothing related or anything...nada

Longest Chapter Yet! Hope you enjoy!

Thanks for all reviews- Don't worry to everyone who's been telling me not to stop, I don't plan on stopping with this story anytime soon ;-)

Chapter 7:

"What did you do to him?" asks Casey. Paul stumbled into the cafeteria a little while ago still looking as shocked as before but now he looked mildly impressed each time he glanced over at me.

"What are you talking about? I did nothing whatsoever." I act innocent and smirk a little, proud of what I did. Casey looks at me with a disbelieving look that clearly says, 'WTF?'. Ha!

Anna looks at me. "So I'm guessing you did what I told you to do," she states.

I nod. "Yeah, maybe a little more, too." I act all coy. I love that word. Coy. Coy. Weird, but effective. Wow, I'm extremely giddy from telling off Paul.

"I'm impressed." Anna looks at me with an approving look. "No one has ever done that to him and he is the biggest jerk in La Push."

"Eh, you know how it is. To be in the life of Rayne, ya gotta do this kinda stuff." I brush imaginary dust off my shoulders. They both give me the same incredulous look and before I know it I'm laughing so hard I can barely breath. I breath in a shaky breath, trying to calm down. It doesn't work. Sadly, I'm the only one at my table suffering from this laughing epidemic. They're all just looking at me, waiting for me to get a hold of myself. So in short I look kind of stupid.

Eventually I calm myself down enough to wipe the tears from my face. Once I notice the same look they had on their face before I go into a whole other fit of laughter. I love laughing.

Great, now I have absolutely no one in my fifth period class.

Once I'd entered the classroom the tension between me and Ryan was palpable. He only glanced up at me once, but then quickly looked away when I looked back at him. Awkward. And we sit next to each other, too. When the teacher gave us free time to talk, he just turned away and talked to someone else. That effing sucked.

Now, I'm sitting down looking at my phone hoping that someone will sense my turmoil and text me to make it look like I'm not completely pathetic. Urgh, no such luck. Even though Ryan annoyed me, without his incessant babbling it was incredibly lonely just sitting here in class. Stupid Paul...

"How was Ryan?" Anna asks. I give her a look that says, 'don't ask'. "Okay, then..." she trails off.

"Ooh, ooh! Have you guys looked outside yet this afternoon? It's actually sunny! We're definitely going to the beach!" Casey runs up to us and exclaims.

I jump up and down, nodding frantically with Anna doing the same. It's tradition for the three of us to go to First Beach everytime it's sunny, which is so rare that we get ridiculously excited to go.

"Four?"

"Four!"

"FOUR!"

My group is awesome, it's official.

The sun feels so nice on my skin. I can literally feel my skin desperately soaking up the sunshine. I sigh, relaxing further into the beach towel and soft sand. Beside me is Casey, lying down in a cute red and white polka-dotted bikini. I'm in the basic black bikini, which is slightly too small since I haven't gotten a new swimsuit in a couple years. Anna is by the water squealing as she tries to ease her way into the frigid May water. She's wearing a teal-colored one piece suit.

I wish we had more days like this in La Push, where I could go to the beach and lay out. When I leave this town I'm definitely going to live in a place that's near a beach where the temperature is decent in the summer.

I sigh and flip onto my back, adjusting my suit yet again. Seriously, this suit is a little TOO revealing. I look around the beach again, glad that no one else is there, but us three.

"Want to play a prank on Anna?" Casey asks, smirking.

"Of course," I reply back easily.

"Anna always tries to go in the ocean, but can never actually do it. Sooo, let's help her out." I know exactly what she means. I grin evilly and nod, motioning for us to quietly get up.

We sneak up behind Anna, trying to hold back our laughter the whole time. When we finally get behind her, she is knee deep in the water. Perfect.

I motion with my fingers; 1, 2, 3. Right when I make the number three we grab Anna by her arms and shoulders and swiftly push her into the incoming wave, before she can process what happened. We run away quickly, laughing like hyenas, not holding back anymore. She quickly surfaces, jumping around from the cold.

"You b-bitche-e-es." Her shivers making her stutter. That only makes us laugh harder. She runs out of the water and towards us. We scream and run in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, Anna can run like the wind when she's pissed. So in no time at all she has us chased down and pushes us both to the ground, but it was definitely worth it.

"What? Was the water too cold for you?" I ask, giggling.

"Yeah, we thought you wanted to go for a swim? We were only helping, really," Casey adds on. Anna huffs and walks back to our towels and bags.

"That was perfect. Great idea." I salute to Casey. She makes a show of bowing. I just laugh more. That laugh is cut off when I hear people's voices from down the beach, near the cliffs. Crap, I hated it when people came to the beach. I'm so insecure being in a bathing suit.

Are you kidding me? It's Paul's group of friends, with all their girlfriend's and even a little girl around 2, or 3. Sure enough, Paul is with them on top of the cliffs with some other guys. Although, he doesn't look like he's really concentrating on whatever they're talking about. He just keeps looking away, looking distant emotionally.

I turn back to Casey, "Let's get back to our stuff."

She notices the group, "Ugh, yeah let's get as far away as possible." Just my luck that they seemed to notice other people on the beach. We quickly walk back to our towels and lay down. I look up hoping they went back to their own buisness. Sadly, I see a girl, I think her name is Kim, whispering into another girl's ear, Emily? Yeah, she has long scars down her face so it must be Emily Young. Since this is such a small town and everyone knows everyone it was a big deal when Emily got mauled by a bear about 10 months ago.

Emily turns to look at us, well mainly me for some odd reason. Please don't come over here, please don't come over here,... I repeat like a mantra in my mind. Crap, she's coming over here. Why is she coming over here!? I don't know her, none of us do. My friends are wearing the same expression of confusion.

She stops in front of us and smiles wide at each of us, lingering on me for a second too long. Weird...

"Do you guys want to join us? We have a ton of food, it's kind of like a cookout," she asks. We exchange glances each of us somewhat confused.

"Um, sure?" Casey agrees. Anna and I nod, uncertain. She looks a little too excited.

"Great! You can grab your stuff and come on over, then." She stays where she is, while all of us gather our stuff and head over to where they are. The entire group, apart from the few guys that are swimming in the ocean after jumping from the cliffs, are looking at us expectantly. Should we introduce ourselves?

"Hey, I'm Casey. That's Rayne and that's Anna," Casey takes the lead and introduces us all.

"We're..." Emily begins to introduce. There were too many guys that she introduced and most of them look identical. Huge muscles, almost 7 feet tall, shirtless. Yep, identical. "So are you guys thirsty? We have Coke, Sprite, water, and lemonade."

"Water's fine," Anna speaks this time. Both me and Casey nod in agreement. Emily hands us our Coke's and we each take a sip. Cue the awkward silence. I hear a fake cough from one of the guys and then some shuffling. It seems one of the boys finally decided the silence was a little too painful.

"Hey Rayne. Im, uh, I'm in your Algebra 2 class...Seth? I don't know if you had noticed, but yeah," he says.

"I thought you were in our grade. Why are you taking last year's regular math course?" Jacob? I guess that's his name says. Ugh, this is embarrassing, admitting I suck at school.

"I hate math and I suck at it." Might as well be blunt about it. Surprisingly, Jacob laughs.

"Me, too. It's my worst subject, next to history that is," he reasons. Just like that the tension seems to have gone away.

Casey and Embry are flirting. Anna is talking to Kim and Jared and I'm talking to Emily.

"You're a junior, right?" Emily clarifies. I nod. "Have you thought about college yet?"

"No, I'm not really school-oriented. I don't really think college is what I want to do."

She looks surprised, "Really? You don't think you'd want to go to college?"

"I just don't think college is for me. Are you going to college? Aren't you a couple years older than me?"

She touches her scars and sighs, "I'm 20, yeah. Some things came up and I had to drop out a while ago. I might go back though. It's always good to get a degree you know?" No, I don't know. Everyone always says that but I know for a fact that school just isn't for me. I'm not looking to become a doctor, I'm not going to need a degree. I just want to travel and experience new things for once in my life. I know so many people that get a degree and it's useless. All they did was waste thousands of dollars for a certificate.

Instead I lie, "Yeah, I know." She walks over to where a portable barbecue is set up. Inside are hotdogs and hamburgers with toppings set up on the table nearest the barbeque. She checks the meat and nods approvingly.

"Girls!" she yells out. Slowly all the girls in our group, including Claire, come around to the barbeque area. "Food's ready. Hurry up and fill your plate before the boys come." With that we fill up our plates. The boys are hovering at a safe distance, practically drooling from the food. Emily checks to make sure each of us have filled our plates then nods. I guess that's the cue for the boys to come and eat because before I could blink they were piling their plates with as much food as possible. Each of them got seconds...thirds...fourths? Jeez, they act like they've been starved their whole lives'. I look over at Casey and Anna who are sitting next to me on a log and they both look just as horrified as I do that these boys could eat so much. 'Wow', I mouth to them. They nod in agreement.

I look up noticing Paul walking out of the water. I guess he's been cliff-diving the whole time. He shakes his hair in a ridiculously sexy way and I can't help but to stare at him as I notice the water running down his chest and over his muscles. I subconsciously lick my lips. My eyes meet his and his are filled with lust. I'm suddenly hyperaware of the fact that I'm still only wearing a too small bikini and my face flushes. I cross my arms over my chest and stomach, trying to be subtle. Of course Paul notices. Our eyes meet again and this time there's more adoration and love in them. I can't seem to pull my eyes from his and he seems to be in the same type of predicament as well. That is until some idiot had to ruin the moment.

"Paul! What are you doing? All the food's almost gone and you better not get mad at us for eating it all when you're just standing there, with a stupid look on your face." Stupid Jacob. I feel the urge to defend Paul, but he beats me to it. He growls loudly.

"Shut up, Jake!" he grumbles. He walks forward, grabbing the only hotdog left on Jake's once full plate and shoving it in his mouth, devouring it in seconds. Ew, gross. He continues to eat at an unhealthy pace until the all the food's gone.

I rub my stomach and groan. "I ate waaay too much," I complain to my friend's. They're both in similar situations and can sympathize. "Thanks for the food Emily, it was delicious." "So good!" "Loved it!" My friend's pitch in at the end. Emily smiles at me.

"Thanks. It was no big deal, we had extra food and all." Even though the guys in Paul's group were shady, Emily is genuinely nice and sweet. If the boy's are doing anything bad I doubt Emily would be involved with it, which leads me to believe they couldn't be doing anything too horrible. By this point it was pitch black out. I look at my watch; 7:45. Time flys when you're having fun. Or so they say...

"I'm probably going to head back right now it's kind of late," I say to Emily and the girls. Aware that my parents won't be too happy that it's dark out and I haven't called or anything.

"Oh, ok," for some reason she looks disappointed, "I hope to see you soon. It was really great meeting you. We should hang out again sometime."

"Definitely, I'd love to. Thanks again for everything." Casey and Anna stand up.

"We should probably go too. We had fun." Emily nods at them.

"I had fun, too. We'll definitely have to do this again," she says to them. The three of us wave at Emily as we walk away, considering the others didn't notice our departure. Once we reach the parking lot Casey and Anna climb into their cars.

"See ya tomorrow," Anna shouts.

"Bye," Casey yells. I start my walk home along the side of the road.

"Hey!" Who yelled that? I look behind me and see Paul running from his group of friends. "What the hell are you thinking? You can't walk around at night alone. It's not safe." I hate how he talks to me like I'm stupid.

I glare at him, "Why would you care? We're not friends, we're not even acquintances really." He gives me a troubled look, seemingly caught in his inner turmoil.

"Just because we're not friends doesn't mean I want you to die...I would never want you to die," he says the last part under his breath so that I could barely hear the words. They only left me more confused. He seemed to say this like it had a double meaning, as if he were hinting at something.

I didn't reply. I continued walking silently along the road. Paul easily fell into step with me. This type of walk would've seemed awkward if I'd only thought about it, but being with Paul was so easy. The silence didn't drag on, in fact it was as comforting as his presence. For once, he wasn't angry at me or someone else. Instead, he seemed content with things as they were. It was nice to be around this Paul, not the angry brooding Paul that was always present.

Being around Paul made it seem normal that he was walking me home and that he punched Ryan in the face for kissing me. He made everything feel as though it was meant to be. I didn't feel shy or awkward around him. He made me feel comfortable. I know that I'm supposed to be done with him for all the crap he's done, but I just can't. Feelings are feelings. I can't just turn them off when I want to. Sometimes I'm not sure if I want to turn them off, either. I sighed and looked up at Paul, noticing him looking down at me. We stared at each other for a moment too long to be normal, but it felt as though we both couldn't help ourselves'.

My house slowly came into view. "Well this is my house." I said those words so quietly that I wasn't sure if he heard me, but he seemingly nodded to acknowledge my words. I didn't want to disturb the peace that was created during our walk. "Bye." I shuffled a little closer to him, no longer able to deny the pull that was constantly pulling me towards him. He moved closer too, until our chests were almost touching. I looked up at him as he looked down. We continued to stare at the other, longer than we'd ever stared at the other. I noticed the red flecks in his eyes, the freckles near his nose, every line that was engraved in his face. I noticed it all. With Paul I noticed every single thing about him. I raised my hand up slowly following where the pull guided me to his face. I was a couple inches away when a dog barked.

We jumped away from each other. My face red from what I had just experienced and Paul's face alarmed. Sadly, it melted into anger. Pure anger. I felt a pang in my chest, knowing it was because of me. I was the cause. But what had I done? I'd done nothing. Or so I thought. He turned his back to me and stalked away to the forest. Why was he going into the forest? It was dangerous! An intense feeling of wanting to protect Paul grows within me. I do the only thing that I can think of. Run after him.

"Paul don't go in there! It's not safe. At least take the road back wherever you're going, not the forest. There could be dangerous animals in there like bears and wolves!" I yell at him trying to keep up with his fast pace. Suddenly he stops at the word wolves and starts to shake slightly. He turns to me furious, causing me to cower away. A hint of regret flashes across his face before it's overcome yet again by his anger.

"Get out of here! I know what I'm doing and don't ever follow me again. Now leave and go home before I make you!" He growls the last part at me. The anger radiating from him, combined with the danger surrounding the forest is enough to make me almost run back to my house. Somehow, I manage to stay in place and keep a steady gaze on him.

"No, I don't care what you say. You can't be out here in the middle of the night like this, it's not safe! Please, it's dangerous!" I plead with him. As much of a jerk as he is, I don't want to see him die out here and I certainly don't want to let it happen if I can help it. So I'll stand my ground for as long as I need to. He gives me a frustrated look and begins to walk out of the woods. I smirk and do a mental fist pump, I won! I follow behind him until we once again reach the road. I point in the direction we had come from. He frowns at me, but raises his hands up as if he's surrendering and begins to walk away.

"You're really stubborn, aren't you?" he yells back to me, now a good 100 feet away with his hands still raised.

"Only when I need to be," I reply, then add mentally, 'or when I really, insanely care about someone for no reason whatsoever, like yourself.' He turns and gives me a look as though he could read minds and just heard what I'd been thinking. As though he can see right through me. I just wish I could see through HIM. Nothing he ever says or does adds up. I continue to watch him as his form becomes smaller and smaller. The more I think about his behavior, the more confused I become. I should really look into this. ASAP.

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	8. Chapter 8

*I don't own Twilight!  
I'm more or less introducing Riley into the story now. I'm pretty sure everyone realizes what happened to Riley in Seattle.  
So sorry for taking so long to update. I'm going to update extra chapters to hopefully make up for it.  
Again, thanks for the reviews! I love to see people actually enjoying my story!

Chapter 8:

So yesterday was the weird day at the beach, with Paul's gang. Everytime I'd see anyone in their group, minus Paul of course, they'd try to talk to me or at least say hi. I asked Casey and Anna if it was happening to them too, but they said no. So basically the whole day I was kind of freaked out by the whole group. They even tried to get me to eat lunch with them. I refused of course, but that didn't stop the looks I'd gotten by the surrounding tables that overheard. Because no one new ever just sits with them, unless it's a new girlfriend. So, yeah. I was still baffled by it when I got home.

"Honey, I need to talk to you for a second?" I turn towards my Mom in the kitchen and nod. She draws in a shaky breath and her eyes begin to water. I rush over to where she is clutching the counter's edge.

"What's wrong? Is it about Riley?" Please, don't let this have anything to do with Riley. He's been missing for days now and there hasn't been any signs of him. His parents, my uncle and aunt, have been hopeful that he'll show up and everything will be fine. I'd been thinking along those same given the lack of evidence. Now, I'm not so sure.

A few tears escape from my Mom and I can hear a sob building from her. No, no, no,... Please, no. I beg to anyone who might be listening that he's fine and that Mom is just really happy that he's safe and that's why she's crying. Slowly, she nods her head. My stomach drops even more than it already had. This day is just getting worse, by the second.

"He, he...they found a dried pool of blood that, that, matched Riley's blood a-a-and...there's been other people missing. The-e police assume it's a serial k-k-killer." Mom is barely able to speak these words and I can't blame her. Watching her break down like this is one of the most frightening things I've ever seen in my life. My mother, whose supposed to be strong and resilient, is crying and desperately trying to hold herself together. It feels as though everthing that seemed solid in my life has crumbled to pieces in front of me.

I reach forward and bring my Mom into my arms, letting my own tears escape. I cry silently and allow Mom to fully breakdown, knowing that she needs to let it all out. She's known Riley since he was a little boy. She babysat him for her sister, Riley's mom. He's been the son that Mom never had, and Mom's always been the second mother to Riley. I know that she must be feeling like she lost a child. I mean, I feel like I just lost a brother. Because me and Riley had no other siblings, we were the closest thing to having a brother, or a sister. He'd look out for me, like any other older brother.

"I just can't believe i-it. He was so-o young a-and strong. Why are there horrible people in this world, that don't even deserve to be called human?" Mom asks me, almost being naive. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I'm the parent and not the child.

"I have no idea, but you're right. The people who do these kind of monstrous things, don't deserve to be called human," I conclude.

We continue to stay there like that for a little while longer. Hugging and comforting each other. That's probably the closest we've ever been, emotionally.

That night I couldn't go to sleep. My mind wasn't able to rest. Thoughts of what Riley could've been through wouldn't stop running through my head. I hoped Riley was in a better place, peaceful and out of harm's way. I hoped the person who'd been responsible for his death, got his karma. I truly believe that you get exactly what you deserve and that fate will always work things out in the end.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's been a few days since I'd heard the news about Riley. To put things lightly, it's been hell. Mom has been a walking zombie. It's been almost painful to watch. Dad has just been even more silent than usual. Only ever talking to comfort Mom and let her know that Riley's in a better place. And for me, well, I don't know. I haven't been to school in the days since. I almost didn't let my friends know, because I didn't want their sympathy, I just wanted to be alone, but after receiving endless calls it seemed like I might as well tell them. They were completely understanding and it helped a little to talk to someone about things. My parents haven't really cared that I'd been missing school, what with them being in their own little bubble. Anna and Casey offered to drop off my work, but I figured I wouldn't do the work anyway. So, now I'm going to suck even more at school.

In other news, I haven't seen or talked to Paul in the time since. It's sucked. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed just seeing him, until not seeing or hearing from him for a few days. A pain that I'd never before noticed started in my chest yesterday after hearing a pained howl. The howl sent chills down my back, not from fear, but from the utter sadness that encompassed that one sound. That ache has not ceased and neither has the periodic howls that I've been hearing, either.

Currently, I'm in a car driving to Seattle with my parents to attend Riley's funeral. So far the car rides been nothing but a sad silence. My Mom's been trying to hold in her tears the whole time while Dad has a death grip on the steering wheel. Meanwhile I'm kind of disbelieving of the entire situation. Riley, gone? What? It's hard for my mind to wrap around the idea of him gone.

"Riley was a great person. He was an all-around..." Another speech about how great Riley is. I agree that he was an amazing person and everything, but...speeches at a funeral are just naturally depressing. It's a reminder that he 'was' all those things, he can never be thought of in the present tense ever again.

My eyes start to water, the now ever-present ache in my chest intensifying. I look away from the casket and one of Riley's friends, giving the speech. My eyes wander to the gate leading into cemetery. Someone was standing there. It had the shape of a person, but it was unnaturally still, statue-like. I continue staring at the form, for some reason this thing was drawing my attention. After a few moments of staring, the thing actually moved. So it is a person? The person turns its head towards me and our eyes meet. I gasp silently. His face was so familiar! Who does he look like? I couldn't put a name to the face that this person had. I couldn't stop staring at him and hoping for the name to come to me. He just stared back, smiling slightly. It seemed like he recognized me, more than I recognized him. I squinted my eyes at him.

"What's wrong? It's time to leave now." Mom jolts me from my confused daze. I glance at her, then glance back at where the figure was before. Gone.

"Um, nothing. Everything's just really overwhelming," is the first thing I can think of to say.

She nods sympathetically and puts her hand on my shoulder. "I know, I know."

We begin to walk towards the exit where the figure had once been. Was I imagining that whole thing? Was the figure actually there, or not?

I notice Riley's parents standing next to the car with my Dad. Jean's crying and Scott's standing next to Dad intensely talking. Mom runs up to her sister and hugs her. I stand there for a few moments not sure what to do, although I'm kind of curious as to what Scott and Dad are talking about. Subtly, I inch over to where they are. I can only catch snippets though.

"...fifteen others are dead or missing...The police don't...no clues...scared...You see?" Scott finishes. I scrunch my eyebrows together. What are they talking about?

"Yeah, but...Do you think...good idea after everything?...your choice." I'm officially lost now. Scott nods, his face possessing the most depressed look I've ever seen before. Dad finally notices me standing close to them. "Oh! Are you hungry? It's kind of late..."

"Um, I guess?" By then, Jean had finally stopped crying, but Mom still had her arms wrapped around her.

"I think it would be best that we'd leave and get something to eat," Mom agrees. She whispers something to Jean and Jean nods.

We all climb into the car, taking turns hugging Jean and Scott before leaving.

"I was talking to Scott and he had mentioned that Riley's, uh, um, death," Dad squeaks out the word death,"wasn't the only death in the area. The police are baffled because there's just been hints of blood here and there, they've assumed that it's a serial killer. Fifteen are dead so far since a few weeks ago and Jean and Scott are kind of scared to be in Seattle any longer. On top of that they're still grieving Riley's loss." What?! Mom had mentioned that a FEW other people had been missing, not fifteen! I mean, fifteen deaths...that's a lot. I look out the window, feeling paranoid, given the news. "Jean and Scott were hoping that they could stay with us for a while. It would still be temporary, but they want a change of scenery, for now at least. Live a quiet town and be able to grieve with family. We have that extra guest bedroom and bathroom so it really wouldn't be a big deal at all. I think we should have them stay. Family should always help other family, no matter what. What do you guys think?"

"I'm fine with that. If they'd have distance for a while then maybe it'd help them grieve. Plus, it's getting dangerous there. What do you think, Rayne?"

"Yeah, I agree. It would be selfish to not have them stay." Dad smiles and nods.

"So it's settled then," Dad concludes. My phone buzzes in my pocket. I glance down: 5 NEW MESSAGES FROM: ANNA:-). What, why five messages? I open them:

'RAYNE! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING, BUT OH MY GOSH! txt me bak when u get this!'

'whatevr, dont txt me...PAUL CAME TO MY HOUSE! TXT BAK!'

'RAYNEEEE!'

'TXT ME NOW! IM SERIOUS!'

'Fine ill just explain evrything now, so paul showd up at my house, i hav no idea how he new where i live, he was all WHERE IS RAYNE!?, i was just like eep!, he was shaking like crazy, it was scary! so then he was like TELL ME! NOW of course by then hed scared the crap out of me n so i just told him u were in seattle for something, HE WENT LUNATIC ON ME! his shaking just got even worse(if possibl) then he ran away, i think he had tried to go to ur house but it was empty...whew! txt me i need to actually TALK to u about it!'

...What?...

Paul supposedly went to my house, found out no one was there, freaked then somehow found out where Anna lives only to threaten her for information about me. Now why don't I believe this? I wonder to myself. Oh, yeah, because that would be ridiculously, just, weird! She's probably just making this up to mess with me. I wish she didn't like to mess with people so much. I'm ready to just be home now. I'm tired.

"Soooooo..." Dad trails off, "I was thinking that Jean and Scott could move in maybe tomorrow? Considering it's only getting more and more dangerous in Seattle. Me and Mom look at him in disbelief. Seriously? Ugh, that means that we're going to be cleaning for hours on end. For some reason, Mom loves to clean like crazy before anyone comes over. It sucks, to say the least.

Mom sputters, "I, uh, understand, but, you know, there's a lot of cleaning that needs to be done and there's not very much time." Dad scrunches his eyebrows at her. I groan loudly. Of course, he doesn't get it! He doesn't clean!

Mom sighs, "I guess if Rayne and I both just clean as much as we can then we could do it." No, Mom! Don't cave, stand up for what you believe in!

Dad pulls out his phone and nods enthusiastically, "I'll call them now, then."

I bury my head in my arms before shaking my head in shame towards Mom.

"You disappoint me," I say to her. She frowns at me. We pull into our driveway. This is going to be a rough two days of cleaning...

(5 Hours Later)

"Okay, so we have all the bedrooms and bathrooms clean. We still have to do the kitchen and living room, but I suppose we can do that tomorrow after you get out of school. They should get here at five in the afternooon, so we'll have time," Mom says.

By now, I'm nearly passed out on my bed. Cleaning is exhausting!

"Yeah, I get it Mom, we're done, now I'm going to sleep, it's midnight and I have school tomorrow," I say to her. I'm just going to have way too much make-up homework. This added stress is only highlighting the achy feeling that seems to always be present in my chest now.

A shiver runs down my back. I look up, the window's open. I get up to close it. Right before the windows fully shut I look out the window and notice a huge dark figure at the edge of the woods. I yelp, tripping back from the window. I quickly get back up and go towards the window. I look back out. The figure is still there but now it's more distinguishable, because its stepped out of the shadows. My eyes widen as I recognize the shape and features of it. A wolf! I'm brought back to when I saw the wolf after school. I look closely at it as my eyes adjust. It's the same one! Holy crap, I wonder if this is the same wolf that I keep hearing howling.

It seems like the both of us can't stop staring at each other. I think it would be smart of me to be scared of this massive creature, but I can't conjure the fear. Something about the wolf, feels safe. Like, it's emanating a feeling of security, kind of like Paul... I look curiously at the wolf now. Looking into its eyes which are the same, perfect shade of brown as Paul's... Its posture and the way it carries itself is in the same way as Paul's own mannerisms... They way I can't seem to look away from the wolf and the pull I feel luring me to him is exactly the way I feel around Paul... The achy feeling is gone, a feeling of contentment is now in its place, the same as when I'm with Paul...

This wolf, who I've now seen twice is eerily similar to Paul. Our stare still hasn't broken. The same type of staring of staring I'd done just yesterday with... "Paul?" I whisper, the word barely audible to my own ears.

This one word causes the wolf to freeze in its steps. Its eyes begin to widen, the expression looking so, human? Within a second the wolf is gone. Just like that figure that vanished, so suddenly that it couldn't be humanly possible. Am I going crazy, or am I just ignorant on the supposedly impossible?

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Question:  
Do you want more Paul POV's, or are you fine with just Rayne POV's? 


	9. Chapter 9

*I don't own Twilight!  
Thank you for the reviews about Paul's POV and I've decided to do chapters completely in Paul's POV between regular Rayne's POV chapters Soooooooo...next chapter will be in Paul's POV :-)

Chapter 9:

Weeks have gone by since the funeral. The pain in my chest has only intensified. No matter what I do it won't lessen. I've tried all types of painkillers and relaxation techniques but nothing works. In the beginning, my parents were aware of it but I figured they'd want to take me to a doctor so I decided to tell them all the pain was gone. The only time the pain lessens even the slightest is when I see Paul, which is becoming less and less frequent. He's been missing school and when he is there he's either avoiding me or flat out staring directly at me. Whenever I do see him he looks exactly like I feel on the inside.

Jean and Scott are officially moved in to my house. I have no idea how long they plan on staying in my house. It seems like all they do is either sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom. It's sad to watch and I have no room to judge them. I mean their son died...and not from natural causes, but from cold-blooded murder. A little voice in my head reminds me of the figure I saw at the cemetery. The figure that looked oh so familiar... I shake my head to clear the confusion.

Their depression along with mine, is almost suffocating this house. I've never been an emotional person, but it seems everythings been taking its toll on me. Sometimes I'll be sitting on my bed, completely fine, then the next moment I'm sobbing and breaking down. It seems whatever I do I'm never having fun. My mind won't let me enjoy anything, because it always feels like the most important thing is missing. I'm not hungry or thirsty anymore. I only eat when my parents are around to notice. My parents haven't been paying attention to my newfound depression, because of Jean and Scott. I'm almost grateful for the distraction.

Currently I'm laying down on the beach with Ana and Casey, feeling incredibly fatigued. Today was our last regular day of school. Now we have exams. Both Casey and Ana are relaxed and happy because they know they'll pass their classes no matter what. To put it bluntly, I'm failing, they're getting A's. The saddest part of everything, is that I don't care at all. I don't seem to care about anything anymore. Even seeing the progress reports from my teachers warning me I have to get at least a B- on all my exams to pass isn't fazing me. I already know I'm not going to study. What's the point? What's the point of it all? I'm tired, I'm stressed and I'm done with school.

"I know you're worried about exams, but you'll do fine. You've been preparing for them haven't you?" Casey asks, figuring I've been a good little student and conforming to the standards of La Push High School. I glare at her.

"No, perfect Casey, I haven't," I snark back at her. Ana and her look surprised. "What you weren't expecting me to say that? Quiet little Rayne, can't speak up, right? Well, wrong! I can speak and I know I'm going to fail every single one of my exams, because I don't care." I scream in frustration, everything coming to a boil then. I punch my hand into the sand, feeling out of control. "I hate living here! I just want to leave and never come back! Riley didn't deserve what happened to him, but that's life isn't it? Nothing is ever how it's supposed to be, right? We're all supposed to suffer and listen and do as we're told, but I'm done with it all. I just want to get out of here. I'm done with how Paul's been making me feel this past month. He has no right to affect me like he is, but I can't do anything about it! I'm going insane and I don't know why! I hate Paul LaHote!" I yell at them both. Their mouths are drawn open in shock.

A sort of strangled howl echoes behind me. I look back at the same wolf I've now seen three times. Its eyes hold so much despair that I keel over. My heart throbs painfully, my throat constricting. The wolf whines and claws at a nearby tree.

Ana and Casey try to help me up to my feet, but I push them away. I painfully pull myself up to my feet and run to the path I take to the road. My hand is clenched against my chest as I gasp for air. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I put all my strength into those few words directed at my friends. I just want to be alone.

I'm barely able to drag myself to my front yard. Once, I touch my front yard, I collapse into the soft grass. What is wrong with me? All the strength in my body has gone. My heart will not stop throbbing.

I look up at the gloomy grey sky. I see a flash of lightning and hear the echoing thunder. A few droplets of rain splashes on my face and body. I blink the water out of my eyes. The rain soon comes down in a torrential downpour. I'm aware the sun is setting and the temperature is dropping. I'm aware that I should be cold. I'm aware of everything, but it seems like nothing is actually affecting me. I don't feel cold or wet. I only feel distant and out of touch with reality right now. I stretch my arms out wide and close my eyes. I feel so disconnected, but I can't bring myself to care.

I must have been out here for a while, but I know my parents won't notice. I told them that I was sleeping over at Ana's tonight. I feel so distant, even though I'm only in my front yard next to my mailbox.

I open my eyes and look around. It's now completely dark out and its still relentlessly raining. Even if someone inside looked out they wouldn't be able to see me. A few tears slip out of my eyes, mixing unknowingly with the rain. I feel so...sad. And alone. The void in my chest grows. Something is always missing with me lately. Nothing ever feels right. I need someone. Who do I need? ...Paul..., a little voice in my head whispers.

I begin sobbing. Paul. It's always Paul, isn't it? Why is it always him that I yearn for, that I need? I know I shouldn't feel so attached to him, I barely know him. I've only had a handful of conversations with him. He SHOULD mean nothing to me, but for some odd reason, he means everything to me. Paul hates me though.

I whimper and groan and turn face down into the grass. Not caring about bugs I continue to lie face down.

"Paul?" I whisper dejectedly into the ground. I'm pathetic. I close my eyes, feeling sleepy and slightly drugged out.

I'm half-asleep when I hear and feel heavy footsteps approaching. I don't feel like fighting through my haze, so I continue to lie face down. I feel a sudden heat surrounding me.

"Rayne! ...Is she dead, Sam?" I don't trying to figure out what voice belongs to who.

"She feels too cold for it to be healthy, but she has a pulse. Rayne, are you awake?" I stay the same. "She needs to get somewhere warm, as soon as possible so she doesn't get hypothermia. Who knows how long she's been out here in the rain." I feel myself being lifted, but I just lie limp in the warm arms. Why try to fight through the haze? I feel sobs building in this person's chest.

"Ra-ayne." The other person's voice breaks with emotion. Do I know these people? Where are they even taking me? Sam? Wait, Sam Uley?

"Uh-eh," I say something unintelligible. The person holding me speeds up, seemingly determined.

"Rayne, this is Paul. Don't worry I'm taking you to Emily Uley's house right now, she'll know what to do." So, it is Paul. I thought he hated me, why is he helping me and why was he near my house in the first place. So many questions rush through me.

"I-I-I'm f-f-fi-ine," I stutter through the cold. It's almost summer, why is it so cold all of sudden?

"I've got you," he states. He grips me tighter to his chest. Maybe this is a dream, but this is the most content I've felt in weeks. What is wrong with me? Why does Paul, of all people, make me feel so secure?

We arrive at Emily's a lot faster than we probably should have. Even though I'm feeling fatigued and Paul's warmth is comforting I don't let myself fall asleep. I have no idea what they're planning to do to me.

Emily is by the door, looking concerned. "Why was she outside in the rain like this?" Everyone merely shrugs. Hell, I don't know why I was out there. Imjust kind of collapsed from exhaustion and frustration and a whole bunch of other crap like that. "Don't worry, my mom was nurse, so I know what I'm doing."

"What exactly are you going to be doing?" I ask, cautious. She smiles warmly.

"I'm not going to do anything drastic, just make sure you're not going into hypothermia, or anything else like that."

She begins to I guess check me out like a doctor would in this situation. Take my temperature, check my pulse, make sure nothing's out of the ordinary. Paul hovers next to me with a pained expression on his face. While the other guys left the room to give Emily room to work on me, Paul stayed by my side, not once letting go of my hand. At first I tried to pull away from him, becoming more aware of his presence, but the heartbroken expression that he wore made me quickly stop tugging away from him. I may have no idea why he's doing all this but him being close to me has made the pain in my chest ebb away completely. The lack of pain is refreshing and welcomed after being with it for weeks.

"Everything seems to be fine. Luckily you weren't out there long enough to have anything serious happen." At those words Paul seems to relax, his grip on my hand not so tight anymore. "If you want to stay here for the night, it's fine. We have a spare bedroom and it's late, almost 2 in the morning." If it was in any other situation that I stayed the night here I would have felt really weird, but Emily is a genuinely nice person and plus my parents would hear me and ask questions that I wouldn't want to answer at all. So all in all, I guess I'm spending the night at Emily Uley's house?

"Actually, I would like that, thank you. My parents already think I'm spending the night at Casey, my friend's house."

"You can borrow one of my pajama's. We're about the same size," she goes to a closet and pulls out a towel, "Here. You should probably take a warm shower to help with the chills. The bathroom is just down the hall and let me grab you those pajama's." She walks away down the hallway. I don't know why Emily is so welcoming to me. I mean, it's nice and all, but... I don't really know her and she doesn't know me, either.

"Are you feeling ok? Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Paul asks.

"I'm fine." I say quietly. It's weird to see Paul so caring. Usually he's sporting the tough guy look. Seeing him worried, sadly does not help my ever present crush.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers brokenly.

"For what?" What is he talking about?

"Everything."

Sorry for sucking at updating...:(  
Review!


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